The first hint of cancer we got was when she went to a doctor for an examination. He found a small lump in her breast that he was suspicious about. He told her that she needed to have it removed and tested for Cancer. This was in 1968, Sue was 35 years old at the time. Rick was 11 and Scott was 8 years old. There was no known Cancer in her family and Sue did not smoke.
We had a motor home and had planned a trip across the United States for a month. Sue told the Doctor that we had planned the trip and he said to go ahead and go. That a month shouldn't make much difference. We enjoyed the trip but always had the threat of Cancer hanging over our heads.
Immediately upon arriving back to San Jose, Sue called the Doctor and he had her report immediately to the hospital for surgery. He went into her breast and removed the lump, had it tested and it was positive for Cancer. He then proceeded to remove the complete breast. In addition he checked her lymph nodes and found that two of them were already positive. This means that the Cancer had started its spread. Upon coming out from under the anesthetic I had to tell her that she had Cancer and that her breast had been removed. We were told that she had only a 15% chance of living for 5 years and that although they would treat the Cancer to delay its spread. There was not a lot of hope from the Doctors viewpoint but from Sue and I we had all the hope in the world that we would beat the Cancer.
The treatments began. First radiation therapy in which they hit her with such large dosages of radiation that it burnt her skin where it exited on her back. Chemo-therapy was started and she lost all of her hair. Following this and for the next several years she seemed to be in remission.
Of course the boys were told from the beginning what was happening to their mother. Sue was very open about her Cancer and would discuss it with anyone who would ask. We watched all of the medical reports to see if anything new had come out - but nothing new. It had settled down for a long time and we got to the 5 year mark and thought that maybe we had beat the odds. No such luck. It came back with a vengeance. She was treated with both radiation and chemo-therapy as the Cancer spread into her bones. It also spread into her remaining breast and she had that breast removed. There was no way of stopping it now - it would not stop until it had claimed her life.
During these years we all kept a fairly normal life. We traveled and did things that a family would normally do. Sue was always positive about her chance of survival, it wasn't until we got into the privacy of our bedroom that the tears would flow. Finally as the year 1976 came to a close, her body began to show that it had had enough. She was on several kinds of chemo-therapy during that year. Radiation had long been not useful for the extent of the spread - you couldn't radiate her whole body. Chemo was being to try to delay the spread of Cancer - but we were walking a thin line between being poisoned with chemicals or killed with Cancer.
Finally in late 1976 she was sitting at the dinner table when she fell to the floor with what appeared to be a stroke. One half of her body was paralyzed. Again we rushed her to the hospital which was to be the last time. After an examination at the hospital the Doctor advised us that she would not live very much longer. Sue had wished to die at her home so we took on last ambulance ride home. We had 24 hour nursing care for her last few days on this earth. Finally one night she was slipping away and the family all said goodbye to her. Then she lapsed into a coma and quietly slipped away. Her age just 43. Another beautiful lady, taken by Breast Cancer.
From September of 1968 to January of 1979 our family united together behind Sue and her fight against Cancer. It was a fight that we all joined in to make whatever time she had left the best times of our lives - and we did that. I had to watch this love of mine go through treatment after treatment in which she would grit her teeth and come up fighting again and again. I was powerless - there was nothing I could do - I could only watch the most important thing in my life gradually die and dying when she was in the prime of her life. Dying at a time that we had established ourselves in business and had no day to day worry about finances, Dying at a time when the children were getting grown and we could enjoy our time together. Many plans made but many never fulfilled.
I tell you this story because it is part of me and this is the first time that I have put it down in writing. Of course it is only a little of what happened to her and to the family - maybe someday I will write more. I tell it because I am proud of the fight that Sue put up and proud of the way Rick and Scott handled the long long illness of their mother.
I want to show you what happened to her in the last year. In late 1976 I was, unknowingly to me, about to be awarded "Realtor of the Year" from the San Jose Real Estate Board. Although Sue was very ill at the time, she wanted to be there and be a part of this very special presentation. We took her in a wheel chair but when she got to the door she said, "I want to walk in and take my place at the head table" and she did.
Below is a picture of Sue taken at the peak of her beauty. To see Sue a few weeks before she died, at age 43, click on Click here to see the comparison photo. You will plainly see what Cancer does!
